Fantastic! I’ve messed everything up.

On: October 22, 2015
In: Blog
Views: 1956

Today I realised I’ve messed up every position of responsibility I’ve ever had. Holy moly I’m a lucky man and I’ve really pushed that luck.

Today  was carrying a teabag from the studio where I do  morning radio show to the kitchen.

“I’m the teabag monitor” I joked with my cohost Camille, “I am responsible for carrying the teabags!” And we got to talking about being a special monitor at school. You know, Milo monitor, dusters monitor, rubbish monitor – all those naff jobs the teacher hated and disguised as ‘learning experiences’.

I laughed about how I lost my first real job as ‘school captain’ at Waipiata school (roll 27) because I got caught being an idiot with a swingball pole.

Then how I was a road patroller at intermediate but was dropped on the second day because Nubber Knipe threw my lollipop sign under a tractor and bent it.

Then how I was Head Boy at high school and temporarily got fired because I got a principal’s detention for wagging.

By the time I got to this story I realised I wasn’t laughing any more. Instead a light was shining and I was walking towards it.

For all my life I have messed up every position of responsibility that I’ve ever had.

In my first real job in a Dunedin menswear store I got promoted to the lofty heights of Head of Socks and Underwear  – demoted for having rubber band fights instead of marking socks,

My first full time announcer’s job – fired for licking a news reader’s hand during the 5PM news,

Programme Director of three radio stations and darling of the biggest radio network in the country- fell from grace after getting charged with inciting a riot during a tree protest in Palmerston North

Winner of 10 radio awards and 15 years on the job at TRN Waikato – marched out of the station with a box.

Married for 12 years – Divorced.

See the pattern? In the DOTS communication course I teach there’s a slide that talks about the ‘Purple’ dots. I am high in Purple. It says that we are more inclined to lose the things we’ve built and have to start over more often than others. A wee bit compulsive, a big bit impulsive.

Bingo. Lightbulb. Me.

The pattern is interesting, but the lesson is absolutely vital.

Is it caused by some sort of thermostat that cuts power when we get to a certain height? We begin to subconsciously self destruct because our subconscious dictates that we’re not good enough to reach above a certain level?

Is it fear of success created by a strong, southern, presbyterian tall poppies upbringing?

Many brighter minds than mine may analyse the reason for this pattern, but a simple fellow like me sees it like this. I have two choices.

1 – “I’ve always messed up responsibility in the past so I should learn from that and avoid responsibility” or

2- “I’ve always messed up responsibility in the past so I should learn by that and change the way I do things”

No brainer. I pick 2.

So the first step is to look at where I am now. Great job, great new business, DOTS trainer, writer, fantastic relationship, top polling trustee on a community trust and three great kids who (fortunately) still think I’m an OK guy. It’s time to breathe in, temper the impulsiveness and really value the responsibilities I have been blessed with.

And that’s the beauty of the DOTS. While some people may use personality profiling as an excuse for their behaviour, the DOTS calls you out on them and gives you warnings. It’s fabulous stuff.

Today was a great day. Today I realised I’ve messed up every position of responsibility I’ve ever had.

Holy moly I’m a lucky man.


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